Thursday, September 22, 2005

PLAGUE CURE ONLY FOR RICH?
Critics Denounce Incomplete Funding Policy

CASTLE CARBONEK -- Government funds were used to help develop the cure for the Spon Plague, but the control of the cure, and the profits therefrom, remain in the hands of the company who recieved the grant.

The Royal Institute of Health (RIH) was unable to persuade the King that innoculation from Spon Plague should be universal and free. Admittedly not everyone is likely to contract Spon Plague in their lifetime, but many had hope that treatment would have been made part of childhood immunization.

"No one should have to suffer what I suffered!"

Chauncey Brigadoon once could dance a merry caper. But after suffering a debilitating bout of Spon Plague, he can barely walk without his cane. "No one should have to suffer what I suffered! Why can't everyone get shots when they are young?"

Parents have wondered whether to homeschool children to avoid exposing them to Spon Plague carriers. However, in affluent neighborhoods, children have no such fear. With the new cure, it is easily treatable if caught at the onset. While it can be expensive and embarrassing to face, Spon Plague is easily treatable. If you are from a family of means.

The poor and uninsured have no such recourse. For them, unless the case of Spon Plague is life-threatening, doctors tend not to administer the cure, citing its cost and general unavailability.

Blame the Ministry of Finance?

"It's covered under regular medical benefits for most companies with health insurance," said a spokesman of the RIH. "It is also not a cure that lends itself to regular vaccination. In fact, let us be clear, this is a curative -- for those already suffering from Spon Plague. It is not a preventative vaccination."

When questioned why this drug was not universally available, the spokesman said, "Spon Plague is a serious threat to life, but it is still relatively rare, and the drug relatively new. The costs are still exorbitant as it presently exists. If you want to blame someone, I'd suggest taking up issue with insurance actuarials in the Ministry of Finance who convinced the King it would cost too much."

The Lord Minister of Finance was unavailable for comment.

Charitable Contributions Welcome

At Charity Hospital, administrators said they would welcome private donors to the Spon Plague Foundation (SPF). While government programmes may not have afforded universal coverage, private citizens are encouraged to donate what they can.

Popular music and television stars have begun to take up the cause. This month, they plan to hold a "Stop the Spon Telethon." Rumors have it members of the Royal Family, displeased the King did not see fit to fully fund the programme through the Ministry of Health, may even privately sponsor and donate to the project. Others say they may be doing it out of sincere interest for the well-being of Spon Plague sufferers. Whether any members of the Royal Family will appear on the telethon is not yet known.

Spon Plague survivor Chauncy Brigadoon is one of those scheduled to appear onstage during the live performance.

Source
Government Report, 22 Sep 2005, Part 1
Government Report, 22 Sep 2005, Part 2

1 Comments:

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11:34 am  

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